Social Sources

This was originally published on www.limestart.com, a website which focused on individuals going through the post college years. It was titled “Social Sources” and informed the reader of ways to plug in and enhance their lives now that their social circle from college had dispersed. It was featured in July 2005.

People often say that the college years are the best of our lives, and in a lot of ways they are right. Living on your own for the first time, having a new “family” of friends all within a few miles of each other, late night study sessions survived through the means of cookie dough ice cream, and weekend parties galore. A time of growing, changing, and really discovering what it is that you want out of life; a chance to discover who you truly are while having plenty of other people your age along for the ride. Whether you found this through pledging a fraternity or sorority, a church group, an honors’ society, or by continuing on with a sport you loved in high school, chances are that college was a time where you experienced really meaningful friendships and truly developed a home away from home.

Then comes graduation day and suddenly everyone is scattered faster than an army of ants running from a rock that has fallen on its busy, secure colony. Karen landed a marketing job across the state, Brad got accepted to graduate school on the east coast, Sarah is moving back to her hometown, Big Mike is studying abroad and Little Mike is partaking in his dream internship. So now what? Chances are that you too, have found something in the next step to be excited about, and yet your enthusiasm for moving forward is reduced by the fact that your posse of friends and roomies aren’t surrounding you with encouragement and well wishes. There isn’t a single beer keg in sight.

Well keep your chin up, recent grad! There is, in fact, life after college; though it took me months of moping following my own graduation before I discovered it. Here are 5 innovative places to find new traveling companions on this new path called adulthood.

1. Utilize your community to discover a new talent and new friends

Remember summer vacation as a child when your mom would sign you up for different activities at your local community center? Chances are you haven’t visited a Parks and Recreation department since you got your braces off. From cooking to dance classes, from karate to CPR workshops, your local community center more than likely offers a course in anything and everything. Show your proof of residency and cash in on some surprisingly inexpensive ways to meet new people! Go online or call your local chamber of commerce to find the rec center in your area. You’ll quickly realize they are a whole lot more than elementary school day camp.

2. Quick! Get to know me!

A new popular alternative to the night club scene, many metropolitan areas are offering speed dating for twenty somethings looking to have fun and meet fresh folks. The night consists of 6-10 dates, usually only lasting less than 8 minutes each. If you like what you see & hear, you can exchange contact info. If not, then you aren’t tied into anything. Speed dating also usually features a meet & mingle time which resembles a cocktail party, giving you a chance to get acquainted with potential dates as well as find others to hang out on the weekends with. A great speed dating site is http://www.8minutedating.com where you can locate speed dating in your area and find out where special events are taking place.

3. And while your computer is turned on…

America’s solo flyers have taken revenge on loneliness by utilizing the internet. Craigslist, for example, provides hundreds of cities with places to post for all sorts of things every day. The service is free and in their community area there is an entire section devoted to newbies inviting others to take part in a myriad of activities. Enjoy wakeboarding? Hop on the site and find someone else in your area looking for a fellow water enthusiast. You can always post your own message too, and see if anyone out there is as crazy about mountain biking as you are. Craigslist anonymizes your email address so you don’t have to worry about dealing with those who are alone for a reason. So get a social life at http://www.craigslist.org . Even if you don’t find anything, some of the messages are darn creative and are worth a good read.

4. I think I’ve found religion…

It’s true that a large percentage of people discover their spirituality during their high school & college years. It’s also a fact that many fall away after this time. Without the security of youth groups, adolescent outreaches, and a great effort on the part of the churches to draw young people in, it is easy to fade into the back row on Sunday mornings and then stop going altogether. But whether you are Christian, Jewish, Muslim, or commit to any other religious affiliation, there are ways to remain plugged into your faith and get together with others in your stage of life.

Charity work & midweek theological based get-togethers are just two of the great ways that you can get involved and learn about a deeper part of yourself at the same time. Almost every religious affiliation has an open door policy at their bible studies, special events, and weekly worship services. And many have found their niche by merely flipping open the yellow pages and picking one that sounds good! So set your alarm a little bit earlier on Sunday morning or pick a weeknight to get off the couch and into a small group where you can really give yourself a chance to grow.

5. Stay fit both physically and socially

So you were a jock in college? Why stop there? There are plenty of leagues in your county to join, no matter what your sport. Many offices have a softball team. Don’t have one? Consider starting one so that you can not only get to know your coworkers on a more personal level, but also so you can encourage everyone to bring others to join the fun.

If you are planning to go it alone and find a league outside of the workplace, keep in mind that different sports breed different sorts. If you are a solid professional already stationed in the career you always pictured yourself doing, try joining a tennis, golf, polo, or bowling league. These tend to draw more of the secure, “right where I want to be in life” types. Soccer, softball, and water sports tend to draw the more free spirits, so if you are into the arts or have yet to find your comfy spot in corporate America, then give those a try.

No matter your personality type and interests, realize that the first couple of years following college are the toughest. You are not alone, as literally thousands of people are searching for their place in this world and often fail a few times before finding it. Be persistent! Your fantastic new beginning is just ahead.

6. Other great places to meet others:

• Fundraisers
• Political Campaigns
• Weddings (yes, weddings)
• Wine Tastings
• Dog Parks (works best if you have a dog)
• Alumni associations