Originally printed in Foothill Style magazine, reproduced here for web access. Please contact Catherine Tanner for original copy.
Many of us have heard of au pairs in the context of them shaking American babies to their death, or robbing blindly from their host family. Unfortunately in the past decade or so, the media has not portrayed au pair programs in the best of light, leaving families cautious and dismissing the arrangement as a bad idea. However, there are many young people who benefit greatly from living with a family overseas, and families who have stopped to weigh the pros and cons have found that they made the great decision to welcome someone into their home that truly becomes a member of the family.
What Is An Au Pair?
The words "au pair" comes from the French, meaning "on par" or "equal to." The term au pair almost always refers to a young individual living like other family members in a residence, working primarily with children, housework, and anything else that can be of assistance to the host family. It is almost always an overseas arrangement, and an au pair is usually paid some sort of small yet reasonable salary while staying in the home.
Au pairs usually reside in their host home for about two years, and the most popular overseas exchange is that of young Europeans coming to nanny in the United States. Much like an exchange student program, the young person in question is immersed into a foreign culture, however rather than being educated in a university setting, they are educated in the real world by working and interacting with an American family.
What An Au Pair Is Not
The whole idea of an au pair arrangement is for a little piece of foreign youth and vibrancy to come into an American family's home and bring culture and diversity with them. In turn, the Americans are expected to show the au pair culture and hospitality as well, teaching him/her family traditions, allowing him/her to accompany them on family outings, etc.
Unfortunately there have been situations where au pairs have arrived at their host family's doorstep and are almost instantaneously treated as servants. An au pair is not a maid, and should not be treated as such. Just as you would with an out of town relative, an au pair is meant to be treated as a guest in your home, able to have time to relax and sightsee, while still being a valued employee and positive addition to your family.
In turn, the au pair is expected to make themselves available for the timetable and work hours that the host family designates at the beginning of the stay, and should be willing to complete all tasks that were previously agreed upon, just as they would in any other employment setting.
A Chance To Foster Dreams
Claudia was an au pair from Austria in the late 1990s. She came to nanny a family in suburban California and was expected to remain there for a year. However, upon the expiration of her time with her family, she chose to extend her stay in the United States and spent another year attending community college.
The au pair program was the beginning of an adventure for Claudia that led her to a few other jobs and experiences in several countries, none of which were her homeland of Austria. She had the adventure of her life and found her calling working in the travel industry, utilizing her fluency in several languages as well as the knowledge of other cultures that she gained during her au pair experience.
By taking a young international into your home, you are not only benefiting your family with extra hands around the house, but you are giving an impressionable and enthusiastic individual a chance to spread their wings and really discover what it is that they want to do with their life.
The Impact It Makes
Much like American children growing up and going off to college, the au pair program is often the first job and the first experience away from the comforts of home for many of these young people.
Cultural differences have been bridged, and others far removed from the immediate family situation have been impacted. The Kid's First International Cookbook is a stunning example of the bonds that have been formed between au pairs and the host families, and also how the world has been changed.
A book of favorite recipes from the homelands of various au pairs, the book's proceeds benefit Russian orphanages. These recipes that once were only special treats that the au pair shared with her host family is now gaining international appeal and recognition, while helping out disadvantaged kids at the same time.
American children are benefiting from au pairs as well, as this popular alternative to day care and the typical nanny set up, teaches children tolerance, diversity, and more often than not a second language.
Kids who have au pairs in their homes often spend so much time with their overseas guest that they pick up a second language, much to their parents delight. Inexpensive child care and free foreign language instruction? Could there be a downside?
Kids Will Be Kids
While the majority reports that their au pair experience has been one filled with joy and no regret, there is always that minority who would never do it again.
The saying goes that a child's laughter and tears is the same in every language, and one could add to that and say that a teenager's wild side and hunger for adventure and freedom knows no cultural bounds as well.
Some families have had difficulty with their au pairs, issues ranging from drunkenness, late night partying, and disregard for established rules, all the way up to abusing the children and committing misdemeanors and felonies while in the home.
While the idea of having an international in your home may sound exotic or appealing, it is important to remember that young people are can be troubled no matter where they are from, and still others join the au pair program in order to have a great, inexpensive way to escape their problems in their native country.
Fortunately, au pair screening agencies in the United States have been established during the past few decades, and the au pair matching process is more rigorous than ever before, so families can rest assured that they are going to come out of this on the positive side of the spectrum.
Job Experience Required?
While many au pairs are inexperienced in the workforce, they are required to have a few skills under their belt in order to nanny in the United States. They must have at least 200 hours of childcare experience, hold a drivers' license, and be able to speak a decent amount of English. Furthermore, background checks are conducted, and anyone with a criminal record is not permitted to stroll into your home and start taking care of your kids.
These au pair screening agencies have been a godsend for many worried parents and for many young people eager to try out a life here in America. The programs have an astoundingly high success rate with their pairings, and many families say that they would, (and have!) gone through the program a second or third time.
If you are interested in bringing an au pair into your home, consider contacting one of the 11 approved au pair agencies located in the United States. Considered temporary employees by the government, there are reputable organizations right here in Northern California that can help you to make a selection.
Au Pair USA
www.aupairusa.org
212-924-0446
Au Pair Care
www.aupaircare.com
1-800-4-AU-PAIR
EurAuPair Intercultural Child Care Programs
www.euraupair.com
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