More Than a Handmaiden: A History of Korea's Gender Equalizing

Print copy available by purchasing Spring 2008 issue of Taekwondo Times

More Than a Handmaiden
A History of Korea’s Gender Equalizing

Like many nations around the globe, women living in Korea have overcome inequalities and have seen their role both with family and in the workplace evolve dynamically over the years. From arranged brides to corporate CEOs, Korean women have had a long journey to prove themselves, however today they enjoy many benefits long fought for.

Korea, primarily an agricultural society, has always thrived off of their family values and weighted importance on tightly knit clans. Many Koreans have believed (and continue to believe), that social status’ ultimate prize is found in the presence of a large family, meaning Korean women for generations were considered to be “baby factories” and homemakers.
The idea of large families equaling prosperity was such a powerful concept within Korea, that many blended and intermarried with families from nearby villages in order to find this power in numbers. For this reason, there are a dozen or so surnames that are incredibly popular and common in Korea. While two families from the same region may share a last name however, it was forbidden to marry relatives, meaning that Koreans are able to describe their exact heritage to prove this was not done. This is especially important knowledge for a Korean woman who is then able to take an outward pride in her family, as she represents it to anyone who comes to the home for a visit.

Korea started out as a male-centric society and its religious foundation in Confucian viewpoints only solidified the patriarchal dominance in the 1300s. Confucianism is based upon the ideals of order and power, meaning fathers are expected to provide for the family. Women in ancient Korea up until fairly recently were mandated to respect and honor their husband and the father of their children, with no regard as to whether or not she in actuality disagrees. This amount of honor and reverence is so great, that women were expected to also be submissive and respectful toward their ancestral fathers, known as “filiopiety.”

Some women in Korean culture still follow this rule, and in most Korean families, the eldest members are revered and served first. Women were (and still some are) expected to be silent and subservient to elder family members, allowing them to eat and drink before the women even begin. It was also vital Korean women train their children to address elders and men with honoring titles and formal greetings including traditional bowing.

As previously mentioned, women in historical Korea had no other choice but to be home makers. They were expected to rear the children, tend to the house and prepare all meals for the men and elders. If you happened to be a woman working on or near a farm, your duties on top of the typical housekeeping included spending long hours in the field.

Arranged marriages were typical of past culture and still are somewhat common in Korea today. Women were expected to submit to all males in the household, and also to the eldest woman in the home. Because of the lack of freedom and insurmountable work to be done, many Korean women teamed together to harvest or repair homes. Today, that tradition has carried through to women pooling resources and finances together for important events such as weddings or funerals.

Today, while culture and family remain integral parts of Korean life, women have many more freedoms than before. Women are found working outside of the home just as often as an American family would, and their rights have been equalized. All of this is a result of Westernization in Asian nations. Modern media from newspapers to television sitcoms have infiltrated into Korean culture, progressing the privileges of women. As in many formerly patriarchal societies, government has also played a large role in the development of women gaining advantages within their own culture. In recent years, Korea’s government has made notable efforts toward gender equality. This began with the start of the Women’s Development Act and the Presidential Commission for Women’s Affairs. One of the most recent evolvements was found in the 21st Century Gender Equality Charter and the annual Equal Employment Week which began in 2001.

Fortunately for Korean women, equality in the workplace and in society is becoming a reality for more than just one week out of the year. Women are now able to apply for jobs formerly not available to them, such as positions in not only government but technology, science, and medicine as well. The days of homemaking and schoolteaching are dwindling, as Korean women are beginning to take the reins in their own nation.

While women have evolved within the Korean culture, a few traditional practices remain. One of the major ones takes us back to the concept of marriage. When a Korean woman marries, she literally is excommunicated from her own family. While this does not mean she no longer speaks to her relatives, her name is in fact literally stricken off of her ancestral record and added to her husband’s ancestry instead. This can be a difficult transition for a new bride, as she is not usually recognized as a loved member of her husband’s family either, until the first son is born.
While Korea is a country rich in history and tradition to which they still hold fast, it is with great pride Korean women take advantage of their new freedoms and abilities. A working woman in Korea is a sign of progress, victorious challenges, and a modern way of thinking that continually helps to boost the prosperity of Korea as a nation.

Originally printed in Foothill Style magazine, reproduced here for web access. Please contact Catherine Tanner for original copy.

Au Pairs: The International Nanny
Many of us have heard of au pairs in the context of them shaking American babies to their death, or robbing blindly from their host family. Unfortunately in the past decade or so, the media has not portrayed au pair programs in the best of light, leaving families cautious and dismissing the arrangement as a bad idea. However, there are many young people who benefit greatly from living with a family overseas, and families who have stopped to weigh the pros and cons have found that they made the great decision to welcome someone into their home that truly becomes a member of the family.

What Is An Au Pair?
The words "au pair" comes from the French, meaning "on par" or "equal to." The term au pair almost always refers to a young individual living like other family members in a residence, working primarily with children, housework, and anything else that can be of assistance to the host family. It is almost always an overseas arrangement, and an au pair is usually paid some sort of small yet reasonable salary while staying in the home.

Au pairs usually reside in their host home for about two years, and the most popular overseas exchange is that of young Europeans coming to nanny in the United States. Much like an exchange student program, the young person in question is immersed into a foreign culture, however rather than being educated in a university setting, they are educated in the real world by working and interacting with an American family.

What An Au Pair Is Not
The whole idea of an au pair arrangement is for a little piece of foreign youth and vibrancy to come into an American family's home and bring culture and diversity with them. In turn, the Americans are expected to show the au pair culture and hospitality as well, teaching him/her family traditions, allowing him/her to accompany them on family outings, etc.

Unfortunately there have been situations where au pairs have arrived at their host family's doorstep and are almost instantaneously treated as servants. An au pair is not a maid, and should not be treated as such. Just as you would with an out of town relative, an au pair is meant to be treated as a guest in your home, able to have time to relax and sightsee, while still being a valued employee and positive addition to your family.

In turn, the au pair is expected to make themselves available for the timetable and work hours that the host family designates at the beginning of the stay, and should be willing to complete all tasks that were previously agreed upon, just as they would in any other employment setting.
A Chance To Foster Dreams

Claudia was an au pair from Austria in the late 1990s. She came to nanny a family in suburban California and was expected to remain there for a year. However, upon the expiration of her time with her family, she chose to extend her stay in the United States and spent another year attending community college.

The au pair program was the beginning of an adventure for Claudia that led her to a few other jobs and experiences in several countries, none of which were her homeland of Austria. She had the adventure of her life and found her calling working in the travel industry, utilizing her fluency in several languages as well as the knowledge of other cultures that she gained during her au pair experience.

By taking a young international into your home, you are not only benefiting your family with extra hands around the house, but you are giving an impressionable and enthusiastic individual a chance to spread their wings and really discover what it is that they want to do with their life.

The Impact It Makes
Much like American children growing up and going off to college, the au pair program is often the first job and the first experience away from the comforts of home for many of these young people.

Cultural differences have been bridged, and others far removed from the immediate family situation have been impacted. The Kid's First International Cookbook is a stunning example of the bonds that have been formed between au pairs and the host families, and also how the world has been changed.

A book of favorite recipes from the homelands of various au pairs, the book's proceeds benefit Russian orphanages. These recipes that once were only special treats that the au pair shared with her host family is now gaining international appeal and recognition, while helping out disadvantaged kids at the same time.

American children are benefiting from au pairs as well, as this popular alternative to day care and the typical nanny set up, teaches children tolerance, diversity, and more often than not a second language.

Kids who have au pairs in their homes often spend so much time with their overseas guest that they pick up a second language, much to their parents delight. Inexpensive child care and free foreign language instruction? Could there be a downside?

Kids Will Be Kids
While the majority reports that their au pair experience has been one filled with joy and no regret, there is always that minority who would never do it again.

The saying goes that a child's laughter and tears is the same in every language, and one could add to that and say that a teenager's wild side and hunger for adventure and freedom knows no cultural bounds as well.

Some families have had difficulty with their au pairs, issues ranging from drunkenness, late night partying, and disregard for established rules, all the way up to abusing the children and committing misdemeanors and felonies while in the home.

While the idea of having an international in your home may sound exotic or appealing, it is important to remember that young people are can be troubled no matter where they are from, and still others join the au pair program in order to have a great, inexpensive way to escape their problems in their native country.

Fortunately, au pair screening agencies in the United States have been established during the past few decades, and the au pair matching process is more rigorous than ever before, so families can rest assured that they are going to come out of this on the positive side of the spectrum.

Job Experience Required?
While many au pairs are inexperienced in the workforce, they are required to have a few skills under their belt in order to nanny in the United States. They must have at least 200 hours of childcare experience, hold a drivers' license, and be able to speak a decent amount of English. Furthermore, background checks are conducted, and anyone with a criminal record is not permitted to stroll into your home and start taking care of your kids.

These au pair screening agencies have been a godsend for many worried parents and for many young people eager to try out a life here in America. The programs have an astoundingly high success rate with their pairings, and many families say that they would, (and have!) gone through the program a second or third time.

If you are interested in bringing an au pair into your home, consider contacting one of the 11 approved au pair agencies located in the United States. Considered temporary employees by the government, there are reputable organizations right here in Northern California that can help you to make a selection.

Au Pair USA
www.aupairusa.org
212-924-0446

Au Pair Care
www.aupaircare.com
1-800-4-AU-PAIR

EurAuPair Intercultural Child Care Programs
www.euraupair.com

Addiction and Recovery

Originally written for Closet Genius, reproduced for web access. Please contact Chris Fulton for original print copy.

12-step
The 12-step program has long been a popular form of addiction treatment that is widely known by both people who struggle with these sort of issues, as well as those in the mainstream. Thanks to their popular "admitting you have a problem" and "Hi, my name is Joe and I'm an alcoholic…" catchphrases, the 12-step program has been both mocked by the media but more importantly has been accepted as a method of treatment that is not to be ashamed of.

The 12-step program was originally designed by Alcoholics Anonymous as a way to help alcoholics with their struggle against "powerlessness" when it comes to quitting the bottle. Since then, other groups have adopted the program, including Narcotics Anonymous and other self-help groups who could easily take the 12 steps and customize them to help their own.

The only requirement to join one of these groups is a desire to stop whatever addictive behavior you are experiencing, as you cannot be helped until you are ready to help yourself.
No matter what group you join, the 12-step program follows the same format. Members are required to meet in a group setting in order to recount their experiences, and find strength and hope in the commitment and friendship of other group members. The 12-step program focuses on the fact that the alcoholics are suffering from an addiction or illness, rather than a dirty habit or a disease. This helps users of the 12-step program to feel better about themselves and have a bigger hope when it comes to recovery.

According to Wikipedia.com, "The illness is attributed to a physical allergy that creates uncontrollable cravings coupled with a psychological obsession that keeps finding rationalizations for relapse. Recovery from the illness can occur by taking individual responsibility for one's own recovery and relying on the will of a Higher Power while following the Twelve Steps. True to the Twelve Traditions, twelve-step programs do not take positions on outside issues, including medicine."

While 12-step is altered and customized for different groups to meet their needs, the original 12 that was started by Alcoholics and serves as a skeleton for all others is as follows:
• We admitted we were powerless over alcohol—that our lives had become unmanageable.
• Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.
• Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.
• Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.
• Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.
• Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.
• Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.
• Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.
• Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.
• Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.
• Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.
• Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.

Founded in 1935 by Bill Wilson and Dr. Bob Smith, Alcoholics Anonymous and the 12-step program began in Akron, Ohio. 12-step was originally written by Wilson and was based upon teachings by a pastor, Dr. Carl Jung, scriptures from the bible, and a myriad of writings regarding the idea of a "higher power."

A book was written after A.A. experienced an amazing amount of recoveries within their alcohol treatment program using these steps. While A.A. has always been known as a group associated with religion, namely the Christian faith, there has always been a desire to keep it separate from religion and most people have benefited from the program no matter what their beliefs.
The 12-step program has proven itself to be a great resource for many alcoholics both stateside and internationally, as well as many other groups as well. Whether you find your strength in God, as the 12-step format encourages, or rather you find it in the strength of positive reinforcement and group support, then chances are it could be your ticket toward a happier, healthier, addiction-free life.

Comprehensive list of other 12-step groups:
Alcoholics Anonymous
Adult Children of Alcoholics
Anonymous - for people suffering from ADD
Al-Anon/Alateen
All Addictions Anonymous
Anti-Nutrient Addicts Anonymous
Borderliners Anonymous
Cocaine Anonymous
Chemically Dependent Anonymous
Compulsive Eaters Anonymous
-Clutterers Anonymous
Crystal Meth Anonymous
Codependents Anonymous
Codependents of Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous
Codependents of Sex Addicts
Dual Recovery Anonymous
Debtors Anonymous
Depressed Anonymous
Dual Recovery Anonymous
Emotions Anonymous
Eating Addictions Anonymous
Families Anonymous
Food Addicts in Recovery Anonymous
Gamblers Anonymous
GamAnon
GreySheeters Anonymous
Incest Survivors Anonymous
Marijuana Anonymous
Methadone Anonymous
Narcotics Anonymous
Nar-Anon
Nicotine Addicts Anonymous
Overeaters Anonymous
Online Gamers Anonymous
Pagans In Recovery
Procrastinators Anonymous
Recoveries Anonymous; the Solution Focused Twelve Step Fellowship
Rape Survivors Anonymous
Sexaholics Anonymous
Sex Addicts Anonymous
Survivors of Incest Anonymous
Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous
Spenders Anonymous
Self-Mutilators Anonymous
Social Phobics Anonymous
Self-Therapy Anonymous
Workaholics Anonymous

Addiction
When one hears the word addiction, a lot of thoughts come into play, a multitude of which may not be very positive. The actual textbook definition of addiction is, "the state of being enslaved to a habit or practice or to something that is psychologically or physically habit-forming, as narcotics, to such an extent that its cessation causes severe trauma."

Doesn't sound like much fun, does it? This is the sort of mental anguish that millions of Americans deal with on an everyday basis, not to mention the label that our society puts on them as weak or unstable people. The truth of the matter is that addiction can come into the life of anybody, and most people just don't expect it to get to the point where professional help is needed. However, this often becomes the case.

Most medical professionals describe addiction from a physiological perspective, blaming the body rather than the mind for the issues. However, true addiction usually contains both mental and physical components. There is also a disagreement over what is actually addiction. It is usually described as a dependence on a substance that controls your psychological abilities such as alcohol, tobacco, and drugs. These materials will cross the blood-brain barrier when taken and can alter the chemical balance of the brain. However, in today's world of modern medicine, other life-altering compulsions are now usually considered addictions such as gambling, food, sex, pornography, computers, work, exercise, self-mutilation, shopping, and many more.
Because of this apparent necessity for separation, there are two acknowledged forms of addiction. The first of these is physical dependency.

Physical dependence comes about when a person's body experiences actual withdrawal symptoms when the addictive substance is taken away. While psychologically your body may always seem and feel addicted to the substance, physically only certain things can cause your body to go through genuine withdrawls. These are the above mentioned substances of tobacco, alcohol, and narcotics.

The rate in which a person becomes addicted to these substances varies depending on what is being ingested, how often, and also their genetic makeup and susceptibility. Some addicts claim they felt a dependence after their first drink or drug use, while many others report that they can socially use without ever becoming addicted.

The second genre of addiction is psychological addiction. This is when a person's craving for a particular substance shows know practical boundaries and the mind is driven to satisfy the addiction without taking other things into account. People with psychological addictions tend to get addicted because the substance they are ingesting helps them to mask other feelings such as fear, anger, loneliness, or anxiety.

Addiction almost always involves some sort of professional recovery and treatment, including the 12-step program and other methods of therapy that have been medically proven to be effective.

Interventions are also often used to curb the defiant attitude of anger and denial that many people suffering from addiction face. Using friends and family members to help the ill person touch the ground of reality, intervention is often a very successful first step of addiction treatment.

Addicts most often always realize that they are hurting themselves, but the idea that they are hurting others hardly ever crosses their mind. When faced with the cold, hard facts that they are compromising their loved ones' quality of life, many addicts who otherwise would never seek help tend to break under the pressure and begin to slowly recover.

Having an addiction is never anything to be ashamed of, and millions of Americans all over the country are struggling for a solution just as you may be. If you find yourself in the reflection of any of these words, then consider getting the help that you need (and deserve!) today.

Addiction Counseling
Addiction counseling is one of the most valuable tools available nowadays for those recovering from substance abuse issues. Talk therapy and support groups in fact are one of the only effective treatments out there for those who are dealing with alcoholism and addiction to different narcotics.

Even the Red Cross, who usually works to bring relief solely to the physical needs of the public, has realized the importance of addiction counseling. In the wake of Hurricane Katrina, the powers that be at the Red Cross issued statements insisting that shelter facilitators allow addiction counselors in to work alongside relief workers and volunteers.

The actual letter stated that shelter managers "must allow substance-abuse counselors to enter the shelters in order for people with substance-abuse problems to receive appropriate counseling."

This instruction was based upon the realization that those who are suffering from addiction are majorly affected by traumas, and that the success of their recovery depends upon the ability to receive help on a regular basis.

Unfortunately, even without natural disasters taking place, many addicts across the nation are not able to receive the help that they need because of money and circumstance. How can one receive help for an addiction that has already wiped them out physically and financially, when therapists can be outrageously expensive?

The Red Cross' commitment to those impoverished and hurting is one solution, however fortunately for many there are a few others. One solution comes in the form of the word wide web. Many addiction counselors now provide "online therapy" for addicts, and the results have been positive. While sitting in a counselor's office for less than an hour can cost you hundreds of dollars, online addiction counseling is usually about half the cost and also provides a resource for those who are too intimidated by the idea of going in to a physical location and admitting that they are fighting an addiction.

The online counseling option is convenient and non-invasive for many people, and online addiction counseling support groups are often available as well. In fact, message boards themselves serve as a form of support for those who suffer from addiction. Just being able to read the messages and encouragement from others who are struggling in the same sort of ways.
Another resource for those who are down and out and find themselves living with a substance addiction are graduate students and psychology interns who offer their services on a sliding fee scale. Based upon your income, these therapists-to-be charge lower fees and can be just as informed and effective as a seasoned professional.

Addiction counseling involves a few different methods, but the most effective thus far is the 12-step program that was started by Alcoholics Anonymous. Using a nondenominational spiritual foundation coupled with strong accountability and a positive group setting, many addicts have overcome their issues through this program that is now used worldwide in many different forms.

Addiction counseling may be a difficult thing for a substance abuser to accept and cooperate with. They may be prideful, afraid of losing family, friends, or employment, and a myriad of other emotions that a healthy person may never think of or consider. It is important to support the alcoholic or substance user in your life with unconditional love and acceptance, while showing them the positive results of other lives who have given addiction counseling a try.

Tiny Scholars

Originally printed in the August 2007 issue of the Natomas Journal. Please contact Elizabeth Wilson for an original copy.

When you head toward the front door of Tiny Scholars Academy, the first thing you notice is a miniature lemonade stand, perfectly sized for a few preschoolers just waiting to start a lucrative summertime business with satisfied imaginary customers.

Upon meeting the school’s owners, April Macklin and Linda Wooley, you quickly realize this opportunity for imagination and exploration reach far into every corner of Tiny Scholars’ Natomas location.

Wooley has been in the preschool business for 18 years following a career as a Child Protective Services worker for Yolo County. Her enthusiasm toward her job is apparent in the way her face light up when she talks about the little ones she encounters on a daily basis.

“I am one of the people who loves getting up everyday and coming to my job,” she says when asked about her career choice and the way the children reward her emotionally and spiritually, “I feel like I’m filthy rich.”

Macklin has been in childcare for almost 11 years, and was inspired to work with children after her own 1st grade teacher went the extra distance to reach out to her. As a child who was not educationally stimulated at home and did not attend Kindergarten, going to first grade was a daunting task for Macklin,“I went straight to first grade and was called retarded and remedial…I didn’t know my ABCs.”

When her teacher pushed her to reach her potential, she thrived off of this personally directed motivation. In the end, she excelled and credits it to that one individual who was not afraid to take her “special shadow” away and push her further than anyone else would.

Tiny Scholars’ philosophy is to meet children where they are. Does your 3-year-old love dinosaurs? You better believe Macklin and Wooley will design an entire curriculum from art to math & sciences based on dinosaurs.

“We believe in teaching the whole child,” they say, “there are different ways to learn…there is nothing a child cannot achieve when they are given the right tools.”

Those enrolled enjoy electives such as Spanish, music, art, and Sign Language. They also learn things more memorable, such as the importance of the environment. Wooley and Macklin share one story about a 2 and a half-year-old who participated in an energy conservation lesson. The child is now 18 and attending Chico State. He recently shared with Wooley how memorable his preschool experience was and how he has encouraged others to have such an awareness of life as well.

Tiny Scholars is new to Natomas, as the two women recently acquired their new location in July. They are working toward accreditation and have openings available for more children. They encourage interested families to call and come visit their facility.

Social Sources

This was originally published on www.limestart.com, a website which focused on individuals going through the post college years. It was titled “Social Sources” and informed the reader of ways to plug in and enhance their lives now that their social circle from college had dispersed. It was featured in July 2005.

People often say that the college years are the best of our lives, and in a lot of ways they are right. Living on your own for the first time, having a new “family” of friends all within a few miles of each other, late night study sessions survived through the means of cookie dough ice cream, and weekend parties galore. A time of growing, changing, and really discovering what it is that you want out of life; a chance to discover who you truly are while having plenty of other people your age along for the ride. Whether you found this through pledging a fraternity or sorority, a church group, an honors’ society, or by continuing on with a sport you loved in high school, chances are that college was a time where you experienced really meaningful friendships and truly developed a home away from home.

Then comes graduation day and suddenly everyone is scattered faster than an army of ants running from a rock that has fallen on its busy, secure colony. Karen landed a marketing job across the state, Brad got accepted to graduate school on the east coast, Sarah is moving back to her hometown, Big Mike is studying abroad and Little Mike is partaking in his dream internship. So now what? Chances are that you too, have found something in the next step to be excited about, and yet your enthusiasm for moving forward is reduced by the fact that your posse of friends and roomies aren’t surrounding you with encouragement and well wishes. There isn’t a single beer keg in sight.

Well keep your chin up, recent grad! There is, in fact, life after college; though it took me months of moping following my own graduation before I discovered it. Here are 5 innovative places to find new traveling companions on this new path called adulthood.

1. Utilize your community to discover a new talent and new friends

Remember summer vacation as a child when your mom would sign you up for different activities at your local community center? Chances are you haven’t visited a Parks and Recreation department since you got your braces off. From cooking to dance classes, from karate to CPR workshops, your local community center more than likely offers a course in anything and everything. Show your proof of residency and cash in on some surprisingly inexpensive ways to meet new people! Go online or call your local chamber of commerce to find the rec center in your area. You’ll quickly realize they are a whole lot more than elementary school day camp.

2. Quick! Get to know me!

A new popular alternative to the night club scene, many metropolitan areas are offering speed dating for twenty somethings looking to have fun and meet fresh folks. The night consists of 6-10 dates, usually only lasting less than 8 minutes each. If you like what you see & hear, you can exchange contact info. If not, then you aren’t tied into anything. Speed dating also usually features a meet & mingle time which resembles a cocktail party, giving you a chance to get acquainted with potential dates as well as find others to hang out on the weekends with. A great speed dating site is http://www.8minutedating.com where you can locate speed dating in your area and find out where special events are taking place.

3. And while your computer is turned on…

America’s solo flyers have taken revenge on loneliness by utilizing the internet. Craigslist, for example, provides hundreds of cities with places to post for all sorts of things every day. The service is free and in their community area there is an entire section devoted to newbies inviting others to take part in a myriad of activities. Enjoy wakeboarding? Hop on the site and find someone else in your area looking for a fellow water enthusiast. You can always post your own message too, and see if anyone out there is as crazy about mountain biking as you are. Craigslist anonymizes your email address so you don’t have to worry about dealing with those who are alone for a reason. So get a social life at http://www.craigslist.org . Even if you don’t find anything, some of the messages are darn creative and are worth a good read.

4. I think I’ve found religion…

It’s true that a large percentage of people discover their spirituality during their high school & college years. It’s also a fact that many fall away after this time. Without the security of youth groups, adolescent outreaches, and a great effort on the part of the churches to draw young people in, it is easy to fade into the back row on Sunday mornings and then stop going altogether. But whether you are Christian, Jewish, Muslim, or commit to any other religious affiliation, there are ways to remain plugged into your faith and get together with others in your stage of life.

Charity work & midweek theological based get-togethers are just two of the great ways that you can get involved and learn about a deeper part of yourself at the same time. Almost every religious affiliation has an open door policy at their bible studies, special events, and weekly worship services. And many have found their niche by merely flipping open the yellow pages and picking one that sounds good! So set your alarm a little bit earlier on Sunday morning or pick a weeknight to get off the couch and into a small group where you can really give yourself a chance to grow.

5. Stay fit both physically and socially

So you were a jock in college? Why stop there? There are plenty of leagues in your county to join, no matter what your sport. Many offices have a softball team. Don’t have one? Consider starting one so that you can not only get to know your coworkers on a more personal level, but also so you can encourage everyone to bring others to join the fun.

If you are planning to go it alone and find a league outside of the workplace, keep in mind that different sports breed different sorts. If you are a solid professional already stationed in the career you always pictured yourself doing, try joining a tennis, golf, polo, or bowling league. These tend to draw more of the secure, “right where I want to be in life” types. Soccer, softball, and water sports tend to draw the more free spirits, so if you are into the arts or have yet to find your comfy spot in corporate America, then give those a try.

No matter your personality type and interests, realize that the first couple of years following college are the toughest. You are not alone, as literally thousands of people are searching for their place in this world and often fail a few times before finding it. Be persistent! Your fantastic new beginning is just ahead.

6. Other great places to meet others:

• Fundraisers
• Political Campaigns
• Weddings (yes, weddings)
• Wine Tastings
• Dog Parks (works best if you have a dog)
• Alumni associations